Turning My Eyes Upward

The Rest of God

2011-02-14T17:14:00.000-06:00

A goal of mine this semester is to learn to REST! So, I'm reading this book called "The Rest of God" by Mark Buchanan. Not only is it great, but it made me realize something that I think is pretty profound. Not only is is good for us to rest and have greater peace, not be stressed, and not be tired, but also when you rest it opens you up to experience the REST of God, as in all the things you miss when you don't take the time to rest, when you are too busy to let God speak to you and to notice all His blessings.

Please pray for me that this semester I learn to rest. No matter how busy I am...to rest in God and begin to see all the REST of Him. :)

SUCCESS!!!

2010-10-24T23:54:00.000-05:00

I finally got brave enough to try to beat baking at it's game and won!!
The thing is, I'm not a baker.
But I REALLY want to be.
And I can't follow a recipe.
Because I'm a chef, NOT a baker.

Are you following?

So I found a good recipe and did it again and again just as it said to do it.
But I got bored.
So the following is a successful attempt to be brave, smart, and healthy.
Enjoy. :)

Liz's Banana Muffins
Mix together in a bowl just until all ingredients are moist (I HATE THE WORD MOIST!):
1 1/2 cups peeled, cored apples (small chop)
1/2 cup sugar (original called for a WHOLE CUP!!!)
1/4 cup almond or peanut butter (I'm slightly allergic to peanuts, so I go with almond, you could use any nut butter really)
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all purpose flour
2 eggs
4 bananas, mashed
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla (ok, honestly, I never measure vanilla...but just in case you want to, I would go about that much)

Mix and then portion into greased muffin tin. Bake at 350 degrees in a preheated oven for around 20 minutes, but check them around 15 minutes to see how they are doing. I know for sure when muffins are done by checking out the tops. If they are dry and springy, they are done, but if you push on one and it is wet and doesn't bounce back, not done.

I really want to post a pic with this because that makes it more fun, but my camera is at my sister's place...sad.

Interesting Banana bread recipe!

2010-09-24T14:22:00.000-05:00

Try this and tell me what you think. My friend Maria is awesome and loves to create healthy, unique recipes. I'm always interested in a new banana bread recipe, but haven't ever seen one quite like this. It really sounds tastey, but I have NO TIME to try it out right now. Please click here to try it!

Cakes and cakes and cakes and cakes and cakes

2010-09-22T16:33:00.000-05:00

My first attempt at cake making. I'm getting ready for my brother and his wife's big wedding party (they got married in August in Hawaii). I'm making cakes for each table, or something like that. This is a "Lady Baltimore Cake" found in a really cool cookbook called, "Southern Cakes" by Nancie McDermott. It has some wonderful cake recipes in it, beautiful pictures, and cool stories about where the recipes came from. I'm not sold on this recipe because of the frosting. It just seems too much like marshmallow fluff to me...however, I may just not have made it right...I need to borrow my sister's hand mixer so I don't have to whisk everything myself. Pretty intense stuff.

I dabble....

2010-09-12T18:01:00.000-05:00

I just started playing guitar sort-of-for-real this past semester, so I've been playing now for about 8ish months. This is a pic of me playing at our open mic night this past Friday night at the Chi Alpha camping trip. It was so fun/awkward to play in front of people. But I really love playing because anytime I want now I can grab my guitar and play worship. I love going out to our pool and sitting out there early in the morning with my guitar and my bible. Good stuff. :)

COFFEE!!!

2010-09-08T15:01:00.000-05:00

I'm done with my Daniel Fast as of TODAY!! Last night me and my roommie Ruth went to Pita Pit right at midnight and got FREE PITA'S which was an amazing way to break a fast let me tell ya. (We had coupons from a UNT event). Anyway, currently I'm slightly light headed after drinking coffee for the first time in 3 WHOLE WEEKS! But I'm cool with that because I love coffee. Speaking of coffee, I have decided to start roasting my own coffee. If you are interested in this please comment because I would love to share some tips and stories with you! Basically though I did it with a hot air popcorn popper. It is super simple and only takes about 5-8 minutes to roast enough for a pot-full. I got the coffee from a friend of mine who owns a coffee shop/restaurant in Slayton, MN called "The Leftbank Cafe." My brother-in-law Chuck took this picture. He thinks he "wins" when it comes to the best coffee picture (all my siblings were attempting to take artsy pictures of my first roast), but I really like Ginger's picture which you can see here at her blog.

Tatoos and Tater Tots

2010-09-05T18:54:00.002-05:00

I'm going to get a tattoo soon and I wanted to share why. I think it is a beautiful expression of something that is inside you. I think it should be divinely inspired and as silly as it sounds I feel I was inspired by the Lord to get a sun tattoo on my foot (yes, one of the most painful places...). When it struck me initially I was thinking about a few verses in particular, but have since kept finding more and more meaning. The two that stick out the most for me are Psalm 119 and Revelation 21. Psalm 119 contains the well known verse "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path," however, if you look at the entire psalm you see that it really is entirely about God leading us on the right path. It begins with "Blessed are those who are blameless, who WALK in the way of the Lord" and continues on to explain what this looks like, how God keeps us on this path, etc. It is a great description of our walk here and now. However, there is more than just the here and now. God shows us something greater in Revelation when he describes a new heaven and new earth. In Revelation 21 a description of this is given and it says that "The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. 24The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it." It is just a reminder to me that there is something more! Something greater! That as much as the sun is an amazing gift to us that is huge and awesome, God made it...and He is bigger and more awesome and more shiny? :)

So...that's all I've got to say about that...and the tater tot thing...well, I was just thinking about the Daniel fast I'm doing and about Daniel's Daniel Fast in the bible, and how I complain (sort of jokingly, but complain none the less) about not being able to eat things like meat, but I still have the ability to eat way more than Daniel probably got to because I have access to food from every single country on this planet...how crazy is that? Basically this thought came upon a potluck at Eaglepointe this morning at which someone made tater tot casserole (hotdish) and I thought to myself, I can eat tater tots on my fast!!! But I couldn't really because of all the other stuff in the hotdish. But then it got me thinking about how technically that is within the guidelines of the fast, as well as things like salsa and potato chips (as long as they are all natural and only have potato, salt, and oil). So I mean, come on...Daniel definitely didn't have things like that. I'm really not that bad off, even doing this fast where I can't eat meat, sugar, dairy, bread etc.

More on both of these things later, but here is a link to a website that inspires me. Art Deco is cool! The stained glass sun about half way down is very close to what my tattoo will look like, although not exactly like that.

Just a quick note!

2010-08-26T00:38:00.000-05:00

Some things I did this summer:
1. Read all of "the Cat's Pajama's" which is a collection of stories by Ray Bradbury. Great author!!
2. Explored the the Great Plains with my family at Pipestone National Monument in Pipestone, MN. Yay history! (although not if you are American Indian....)
3. Made jam and canned it with my Grandma
4. Learned how to use tools but still can't remember what they are called...

Things I am excited for this semester (BECAUSE SCHOOL STARTS TODAY!!)
1. learning Spanish with my new friends from Mexico and Venezuela
2. Only taking 4 classes!
3. babysitting my niece and nephew :)
4. Continuing Friday night bible study at my place and enjoying all the awesome international food
5. What God has in store for UNT, my family, and my own heart this year

Hope the new school year is great for everyone!

Quick cooking note:

2010-07-06T18:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I made awesome banana bread that called for 4 bananas, but I used 3 and substituted about a 1/2 cup, or so..., of canned apple slices, which broke up into pieces as I mixed. It was delicious. Also, if you normally really make banana NUT bread, I recommend trying it without the nuts. It tastes totally different in my opinion. I'm not actually a big fan of banana nut bread, but love banana bread.

Michelangelo at 1 in the morning. Yes please.

2010-05-11T01:00:00.000-05:00

I feel full of fun facts this week since it is finals and all you do during this time is cram knowledge into your head like it's going out of style. I just spent the past the past 6 hours straight studying for my beverage survey final and then my english lit final, both of which are "this morning" meaning in a few hours...but no worries, I promise to sleep in between now and then. I just wanted to take a break and share an interesting poem written by Michelangelo (yes, the one who sculpted "David" and did the Sistine Chapel. He was also a poet). He struggled throughout his life with sin. I wish I knew more about him, but I don't know what the outcome was. I do know that he was searching...check out this poem.

I wish to want, Lord, what eludes my will:
between your passion and my heart a block
of ice deflects your fire, and makes a mock
of everything I write with perjured quill.
I love you with my lips, then groan that still
your love can't reach my heart, nor will it knock
and force the door, that joys of all kinds flock
about my heart, your purpose to fulfill.
Dissolve that block, my lord, tear down the wall
whose thickness keeps me from the piercing light
of your sweet presence, no longer seen on earth.
Be like a bridegroom, let your brightness fall
upon a yearning soul which at your sight
is warmed at heart, having from you its birth.

Running Away

2010-05-03T21:32:00.000-05:00

This is something I wrote in my journal about a year ago and is something I think a lot of people struggle with. I thought it was interesting because although I still struggle with it, God has been showing me what commitment means and what truly living life abundantly means.

"I confess my want to just run away every time things get hard, every time I feel like I am getting in over my head. It's funny because I totally do it to myself and just dig a hole, it seems like, and then just jump in; I look up, realizing, I'm in a hole...
I know you don't want me to run away from my responsibility in fact, I feel like you are just waiting for me to invite you in to my responsibilities and let you be Lord of them again, or maybe for the first time in my life. Help me hand it over to you!"

It is so hard to give God back the lives we owe, but I'll leave you with this poem that often swims around in my head on days when I really want to skirt responsibility. It helps me to know I can trust God with my life and that He gives me rest and makes life so much better than I can ever make it.

"O Love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee. I give Thee back the life I owe, that in Thine ocean depths it's flow, may richer, fuller, be."
- George Matheson

Procrastination

2010-04-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

...has been my downfall lately. It's a good thing I have God taking care of me or else i would never get anything done. People think I'm so darn organized, and I am pretty organized, but man am I good at procrastinating...sort of like right now as I update my blog instead of getting homework done. So here is my battle and I know people always say that they struggle with procrastination but then never do anything about it, well, it has got to stop and so if you are looking for something to pray about please pray about procrastination in my life and in the world because it really isn't a good thing. I'm going to go make a list and start checking things off it!!!!!

Liz

Chi Alpha SLA (Student Leadership Advance) 2010

2010-04-23T11:48:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the weekend! As I begin a pretty chill weekend I would like to reflect on the past weekend which was not so chill. Through the grace of God the event I coordinated last weekend for college students went really well! See the pics below.

Strength

2010-04-04T23:21:00.000-05:00

Finally updating my blog...mostly for my dad. So here you go Big Pumpkin.

"I have heard it said that every weakness in a capable person is generally a strength abused." - Ravi Zacharias in "Jesus Among Other Gods"

I am a junior in college with about a month and a half left before I can officially say that I am a senior with about a year left of school. I can't explain the weirdness of that statement. You just have to live it to understand, but I can really see how God has been guiding me through life, noticed most fully starting in high school, then the transition to college, and now in college. I am seeing that transition from college to...something else...a lot more clearly now as the semesters pass by and I am having to think more and more about how life will change and grow when I move into a new season. I look back on the past three years excited because I have grown so much. Not just the normal "grown up" kind of idea, but in every part of me. Spiritually, maturity, knowledge, wisdom, discipline, life skills, relationally, job skills, and even physically (seriously, my roommate and I measured the other day how tall we were and I am 5 ft 5 inches...I grew an inch since like sophomore yr of high school...either that or we measured wrong...). I think God is teaching me so much and I don't even realize it until I look back. However, especially right now I feel Him working on some of my biggest weaknesses.

I have always been a talker. I am fluent in speech and generally comfortable speaking in front of people, but I am also an external processor, meaning basically that I think out loud. I can be long winded and repeat myself frequently. Even just these past couple months I have felt this push to teach classes through Chi Alpha and do other things that involve me speaking and He has also put people and scripture in my life that first showed me my weaknesses and then encouraged me and even now continue to guide me in working on those areas.

Discipline is an issue for me, but through a cool event I have made some lifestyle changes to be healthier. Last semester I was meeting with my mentor Jaime and another friend to talk and she said before we started that she had a sort of random word from the Lord for me. She said I was supposed to work out today, that I should actually not take that time to talk, but rather go to the gym. Random, yes, but I decided to be faithful to what God has spoken to her and go to the gym. Well, at the gym that day was an acquaintance of mine through Chi Alpha, Abby, and we got to talking...started working out every friday...now we have made the decision together to work out three times a week and have been doing it ALL semester. That is pretty huge for me. It is the perfect accountability situation and we push each other, keep each other healthy. Not only that, but we are good friends now! :)

Along with discipline is my quiet time in the mornings. First, when I was at a conference last may I went to a class and the teacher gave us a schedule of scripture to read the bible in a year, which was something I have wanted to do for a long time to get a good overview of the entire bible. This has kept me fairly on track and accountable to actually being in the Word every day. Then, at Thanksgiving my bro-in-law's Grandpa (Bipaw!) who is my adopted Bipaw too and a retired minister sat down with me and talked to me about how he spends his time in the morning with God and it really helped me a lot. It is awesome to have mentors and Christian leaders in your life!

It is hard to explain because it is going on inside of me and not always visible, but in general I feel I am being sharpened. The bible talks about that somewhere. I am excited because I can feel the purposefulness in this sharpening, but at the same time I don't entirely know what it is preparing me for. I don't know what is next, so don't bother asking me. :) But I am excited for it regardless. I know God is going to use my strengths and weaknesses for His Glory and I know that my true STRENGTH comes from the Lord!

A recap

2010-01-13T13:06:00.000-06:00

The semester in pictures. Not necessarily in the correct order...because I don't know how to get them in the right order.. :)

The Saga of my car

2009-09-22T17:32:00.000-05:00

Step 1. Buy a car

About a month ago I bought my first car ever. Because of my new job working for the North Texas regional Chi Alpha director helping him with events and conferences I needed to be able to travel a couple times a week to work. So my bro-in-law helped me search cars on craigslist and eventually we found one. On the way to check that car out, we took a strange route Chuck wasn't planning on taking and ended up driving past a small automotive shop with cars for sale by the curb. We ended up stopping and looking at a white saturn that was in really good condition. It was in my price range so we took it for a test drive and found it to be a really great little car. Strangley enough, we looked at the car off craiglist right after this and it was broken down and not near as nice as the one we had just seen. We ended up purchasing the Saturn!

Step 2. Legalize/do maintenance on said car

Considering that the car we bought (White Saturn) was a 1996 it was in great shape...minus needing new tires and some random other repairs. However because of a mess up with the title the paperwork took about a month to accomplish, partially because it was so difficult finding rides to go to the different places to do it all. Also, when we took it in to get new tires, we ended up having to get new wheels as well (which are two different things...go figure). Then I proceeded to leave the lights on one night and the battery died...yeah, I'm an idiot. And this wasn't the newest battery so it wouldn't hold a new charge...so then we bought a new battery. Then there were the wiper blades, the taillight, the headlights, and some wiring issues, oh and flushing out something or other and changing the oil. BLAH.

You'd think after all that it would be good to go. Well...

Step 3. Drive car and have it work

Self explanatory

Step 4. Drive car, have it not work, then work, then not work again

So Sunday come home from church, stop in my apartment, jump back in car to go see Chuck and Ginger and my Dad who is in town, car doesn't start....but I wait a few minutes (after frantically calling Chuck) and it starts...
Tuesday (today) I drove it to UNT to run an errand before my class and when I come back out to my car it doesn't work AGAIN! Oh No! Is what I'm thinking. Needless to say Chuck had to come by after getting off work to help me figure out what to do. He jiggled a few things and ended up getting it started.

SOooooo. What can we learn from all this? I mean, it's hard to say and I'm still realizing all the reasons why my first car story is turning out this way. But as I was reading this pretty good book today called Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot there was a passage that stuck out to me as food for thought and action.

"If God gave it to me," we say, "it's mine. I can do what I want with it." No. The truth is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of - if we want to find our true selves, if we want real Life, if our hearts are set on glory.

The car is not mine and I have to keep remembering why I have it in the first place. God gives and takes away. Someday I may have to give it up and will I be ok with that? In fact, tomorrow the car may explode or something. There will be a reason for it and there is a reason I have it now. Ahh...the beauty of having a car. I have learned so much about it all and that is pretty fantastic. I'm glad to have had so much help too. What a blessing to have two awesome big brothers who know things about cars, and a Dad who loves helping his daughter. Anyway, just wanted to write it all down. also -

some things I did today I wouldn't normally do:
1. Noticed the weather...it was beautiful and the sky, especially around sunset was fantastic. So glorious and just filled with God's glory.
2. Bought McDonalds coffee for me and a security guard who was really nice.
3. Took a nap in the back seat of my car...sort of a random activity that everyone should do.
4. Walked home in the nice weather
5. Played with my niece in a beautiful patch of green grass. her laugh and smile is worth so much more than a car.
6. read part of a good book and just sat and thought about it

Days don't always go as one plans....but that's cool. God shows us some cool things through total weird change.

The Remedy

2009-09-20T09:53:00.000-05:00

"If we claim to be sinless ,we are self-deceived and strangers to the Truth. If we confess our sins, He is just, and may be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every kind of wrong; but if we say we have committed no sin, we make Him out to be a liar, and then His word has no place in us...Jesus Christ...is Himself the remedy for the defilement of our sins..."

First day of school thoughts

2009-08-27T08:27:00.000-05:00

Today begins my Fall 2009 semester at UNT. I have officially started my third, yes THIRD, year here and am technically a second semester Junior with all the hours I have (extra hours taken here and hours taken in high school), although I will probably graduate August of 2011, doing my hospitality internship that last summer semester. So not too bad; only 4 years of school, plus that extra summer semester. Officially I am doing my B.S. in Hospitality Management and my minor in History (just because I really like history) and MAYBE a minor in French. I don't need very much more for a minor in french so I've been thinking about that. I would really like to do my internship in France (this internship thing is required for my major, not just becuase I want to, although I do want to). Otherwise, would like to do an internship in Northern California near the coast at some resort or lodge. We'll see where God takes me!

So with thinking about all that and beginning to read Deuteronomy I was thinking this morning about how hard the journey must have been for Moses because of all the promises God had made for him and his ancestors and not seeing it happen for so many years. Not only was it amazing to finally be about to go into the land God promised him, but to see the descendents of Abraham standing before him as numerous as the stars. Pretty sweet.

Am I trusting that God has great things for me? And will I be faithful like Moses when I don't see them happen right away? I wasn't trusting God when I came to Texas, but He brought me here for a reason because before I knew Him, He knew me and loved me. Moses traveled all over the place just by listening and trusting in God. Can I do that too? Do I trust God that much? I don't want to live by flukes I want to follow God. I'll be praying that prayer for you and me.

Happy new year of school to all!

Our Talents are from God

2009-08-13T08:40:00.001-05:00

This is in Exodus 31 when God is telling Moses about making the ark and everything that will surround it. Finally he tells Moses who exactly is to build all this stuff (and man is it a lot of stuff!) and this is what God says about this man.

"And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, to design artistic works, to work in gold, in silver, in bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of workmanship." - Exodus 31:3-5

And I just think how amazing it must have felt to that man and the other artisans to be building things for GOD! Sometimes, I'll be doing something, whether an act of service, a project, an event, and I KNOW it is for God's glory. The feeling of that is beyond any good feeling I get when I do something because I think it's the "right" thing to do or am motivated by something else, not God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." And if we believe that God gives us our talents and the ability to do the things we do everyday, then why do we not praise Him and give thanks for those things? And praise Him and give glory to Him through those things?

It's not as if God is asking each of us to take up a cross of missionary, ministry, or church work and use our talents in that way. Those artisans were just that, artisans, as their profession, as in that is what they did all day for other people, not just God's alter. I don't believe God asks all of us to specifically work for a church or be a missionary, however, He asks us to us what we have for His glory. What does that mean to and for you? I do believe that if you ask God He will reveal that to you. In my life it has meant using my hospitality skills and knowledge for campus ministry, but also things like being a light to the others at the restaurant I used to work at and not going along with the normal restaurant culture, as well as being a light in my hospitality management classes. Basically, my thoughts lately have consisted a lot of evaluating the things I spend time doing: school, work, activities, friends, hobbies, time-wasting schemes, talents etc - and putting them before God saying you are in control of all this anyway, so please help me stop trying to control all that I'm doing and please Jesus, show me what you would have me do with all of it as you are the one who gave it all to me in the first place.

It's not easy, but I can tell you from experience a couple things about it. 1. it makes life a lot more interesting when you give up control because you don't always know what will happen next. 2. it is the most wonderful experience to just let God take care of you as well as to start taking advantage of the moments in your life He has for you and the people in your life He wants to use you to help, love, pray for etc.

Anyway, enough rambling. Love and God Bless,
Liz

You were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold

2009-08-12T09:03:00.000-05:00

To begin, I would like to say how cool it is to have bunkbeds. Not only is it just way fun, but it has also been a huge blessing to me in a number of ways. For one, me and my roomie got them VERY cheap off Craigslist, mattresses included so huge blessing on our finances. Second, I sleep on the top bunk and when my alarm goes off I have to climb down the bed to turn it off before my roommate wakes up. And I mean, who would want to climb all the way back up to go back to sleep? Basically, I have gotten up on time for the past two days and I absolutely praise Jesus for that because I am a terrible morning person. :)

So the point of this post....
I was reading in 1st Peter this morning and read this verse. Thought it was not only relevant for the "economic downturn" but also for Christians that have not repented of (turned away from) sin that has haunted them since before they believed. It was such a reassurance to me that Jesus makes all things possible and OVERCOMEABLE! How amazing and reassuring when I know how hard the Christian walk is and that everyone, including me, struggles with something(s).

"Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, "Be holy, for I am holy." And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear; knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot."
-1Peter 1:13-19 NKJ Version

We cannot put our hope in corruptible things, like silver or gold, or MONEY, or the traditions of our fathers. Our hope is in Jesus and He gets us through. He determines our destiny. And those that have had an encounter with Jesus it is time to turn away from our former lusts and be holy.

Jesus give us the desire and discipline through your Spirit to take up this call to action. We desire only for you Lord but our flesh is weak. Thank you for revealing yourself to us and giving us the strength to do these things. AMEN!

Snapshot of my life

2009-07-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

PIC: A field in Southwestern Minnesota, taken with my fancy Blackberry phone. Not bad if I say so myself.

Quickly, here is what has been happening because I feel bad for not updating in a long while....

I completed my internship at the beginning of July and immediately moved back to Denton and into a new apartment. The apartment has three bedrooms (it's a townhome, two floors, very spacious) and will house 5 girls next semester. I love it, but have yet to live in it with the other 4 girls so we'll see how that goes. I'm excited for our relationships to grow and our relationships with God to grow because of it as well.

The week after coming back to Denton I finally got my hair cut for Locks of Love. About 11 inches off! I love it.

The week after that, my friend Amber got married and I spent the week with her helping get ready, then was a bridesmaid in her wedding. It was a beautiful day!

July 20th I headed to Minnesota to see the family, which is my current location. I will be here until August 10th and am enjoying it a lot. Trying to spend my time wisely, divided between my family, my self, and most importantly my time with God. which is always a constant struggle for me that I never feel like I'm winning. And I know how much God does through the time I set aside to be alone with Him and in the Word. Pray for me in this as I constantly pray, and I'll be praying for that in your lives too.

I'm preparing to work for Chi Alpha as staff this coming semester. It is a challenge for me not only because it will be a difficult job, but because I have to raise support to do it. Plus, I am in need of a car because the Chi Alpha North Texas director has offered to let me be his assistant, helping him with event planning and administrative duties (he organizes a lot of conferences and retreats for the region and national chi alpha). However, his office is 40 minutes away from Denton. I know the Lord will provide, but it is hard to keep the faith when I don't see it all happening right away. If you think of it, please pray for me.

So I'll try to keep this updated because I still hold to wanting to update everyday. let's see if I can get back to it!!!!
Love always, Liz

Short message from a old friend of mine...I didn't write this but it's a good message!

2009-07-01T11:55:00.000-05:00

A story is told about William "Speedy" Morris, who was head coach at La Salle University from 1986 to 2001. As the story goes, during a year in which LaSalle was having a pretty good season, Coach Morris was shaving one morning when the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him.

Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor.

Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breathlessly said, "Hello"?

The voice on the other end asked, "Is this Speedy Morris"?

"Yes, yes!" he replied excitedly.

Then the voice continued, "Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated."

We are often disappointed to find out that someone else doesn't think we are as important as we think they ought to! Paul had something to say about this:

"I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned." (Romans 12:3)

We've heard a lot in the past couple of decades about the importance of boosting the self-esteem of children in school, with the idea that getting rid of low self-esteem will help children to be happier and have better grades. And I fully appreciate the fact that some children (as well as some adults) do have poor self-esteem and view themselves as worthless, which is a bad thing. Paul doesn't say that we need to have a poor view of ourselves, just that we need to have a "sober" or "sensible" view of ourselves.

But it seems to me that a bigger problem in our society is high self-esteem - people who think of themselves as more important than they truly are. Strangely enough, I don't hear anyone talking about that problem! But Jesus did. He spoke a lot about the need to develop an attitude of humility, and he let us know that we find a right view of ourselves by seeing ourselves as servants. Jesus not only taught that view of self-esteem, but he demonstrated it.

"...humbly regard others as more important than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3)

Lord, help me to find my self-esteem in you. Because of your sacrifice on my behalf, I understand my great value in your eyes. But forgive me when I try to elevate myself over others around me who are equally as valuable. Help me to develop the humble attitude of a servant. In Jesus' name, amen.

Pax Tecum,
Reverend Mr. Dick Cronican

All Good things Must Come to an End (Watch me contradict myself)

2009-06-24T23:03:00.001-05:00

So as with all good things my internship will soon be ending. How crazy! I can't believe that I will be heading back to Denton in a week and a half. Kelly is leaving for Argentina where his wife is from and where she and their son are already, this Friday, so tomorrow is our last day as master and grasshopper. So I thought I would get a little inspirational.
I don't feel like this is really ending. It's more like a beginning! To the rest of my life. My attitude is different. My heart is changed. God is becoming more and more the center of my life! And I have learned so much about international ministry. I feel like this has been the best sort of job because everyday i learned something new. It was a challenge, but a good one that God has been preparing me for. So now I will go off to Denton for a few weeks, spend some time in Minnesota visiting the fam, and then start school once again. I'm excited to take all that I have learned here and apply it to UNT's Chi Alpha international student friendship ministry. And I think our Chi Alpha and our campus will never be the same! Really, this good thing isn't ending it is being carried over into the rest of my life!

Ok, end of inspirational now onto some spiritual tie-ins. :)

So I was thinking about this "all good things must come to an end" and was thinking about our life. The amazing thing is that even if our life on earth is great and full of blessings, fun filled, thrilling, full of love and things like that, this isn't it! This isn't even close to what heaven will be like. Sometimes I think that there just couldn't be anything better than this ("this" as in you know, that way cool thing you experience and just love, whatever that is) but have to stop myself and realize that no, there is something WAY better to come. I'm not going to lie. It is really hard to believe just how awesome it will be because all we know is this life. But God is teaching me to be focused on the imperishable prize (thus the title of my blog).

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 25 And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. 27 But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified."
- 1 corinthians 9:24-27

Peace out, will update on all the cool things I have learned through this internship and will see the Dentonites in about a week and a half, my family and all the Minnesotans in about a month!!!!!

So awkward to see yourself on camera...

2009-06-18T00:24:00.000-05:00

Click here!
Check out the video from the conference I went to last month. Very cool and done by an amateur; a student from UT Arlington who came to the conference. I always think it is so strange to hear myself talk because hearing my voice, I don't sound like I expect myself to sound and how I hear myself as I talk, so it's just weird. I'm sure most people know what I mean and I've talked regularly to my sister about such things, however, no matter how much it is discussed, it is still weird.

By the way, I forgot to mention in my last post how I love the fact that the large rock in the picture of me standing by a large rock waving looks like a camel head, or perhaps a lama head. Can you see it?

I got to spend a short time with the other campus pastor's wife down here at UT tonight and it was totally great! She is such a gentle spirit who can keep up with four smart and silly kids, all under the age of 13, and home-schools them all! One thing I wanted to mention from our talk was that she gave me some wisdom about trusting in God to take care of us. She entreated me to not forget, and I won't say it as well as she did, that God is not held back by our shortcomings. We must rely on God, but He is not reliant on us. We don't always say the right thing. We don't always plan things well or have the best ideas. We also don't always perfectly rely on Him. But God is so big and He can do anything. He can still work and move when we are not perfect, which is pretty comforting to remember as we can never measure up to His standards. He still loves us regardless. He still loves us perfectly, unconditionally. I was very much glad to be reminded of this and can't help but feel encouraged, especially in regards to international student ministry. Sometimes I just don't feel adequate but it's not me I'm relying on, it's God.

A Week in the Life

2009-06-14T20:12:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize that I hadn't posted for a whole week. Shameful. I mean, time flew! But isn't that always my excuse? When I think about it I see all those times I sat in front of the TV or just did something totally pointless when I could have been doing a number of worthwhile things. But I chose to be rather lazy.

Not to say I didn't accomplish anything. I met with a lot of people this week, including coaches and internationals. I had a great conversation with the girls at Dessert and Coffee Time at the ministry center here in Austin Wednesday where we planned some cooking dates (yay for sushi and indian food cooking this week!). The bible study was great Friday night. We talked about biblical friendship and community as talked of in Galatians 6: 1-10. "if a man is overtaken in a fault, those who are spiritual restore him gently...etc etc" very interesting discussion! Saturday I went with some friends (some of the ones I ate crawfish with) to a Texas State Park called Enchanted Rock and then to Fredricksburg, a German settled touristy town. Very cool opportunity to enjoy more of Texas and spend time with internationals.

However, I'm realizing more and more how much I need God to give me strength to begin the day on time and end the day on time. Waking up in the morning is not a strong point of mine and going to bed at a decent time (which would help me get up in the morning) is also not a strength. The silly desires of my flesh are so strong and it is weak, even though it is so true that my spirit is willing! This will be a constant prayer for me as I continue with the internship and move into the next phase of my life that God would give me strength to be disciplined in these areas. Please pray for me in these things.

Also, I wanted to say that God is FAITHFUL! SO FAITHFUL! My living situation is slightly complicated when I get back to Denton, well it was more complicated up until about a week ago. I am living in a townhome/apartment thing with three friends, one who has a room by herself, two that are sharing and then me. It was supposed to be me sharing a room with another friend, but her plans changed suddenly. Then I found another girl, but her plans also changed unexpectedly. I was pretty frantic and frustrated for sure, but after talking with a friend I realized that of course God is able to take care of this too. I posted a note of facebook saying if anybody knew anyone who needed a roommate to send them my way, but I wasn't hearing from anyone and a few leads I had didn't work out. A friend I met freshman year who has been studying abroad in Japan for the past year all of a sudden stumbled upon my page and saw the post for a roommate. She messaged me and we talked and just like that I had a roommate! I mean, that doesn't sound that stressful, but trust me, with all the nonsense of trying to get approved for the apartment and going through two different roommates who both backed out (both for good reasons, they couldn't help it, so no hard feelings there of course), it was really frustrating. Anyway, I'm really excited about it and know God will work to make us 5 girls really close and able to get along. So cool!

Two other things: I'm coming home to Minnesota! I think I will be home from July 20th to about August 15th or so. YAY! the other is that I am super excited to announce for those that have not heard, my sister (Ginger) is pregnant with her second baby due end of January. So wonderful! My neice Ruby turned one june 9th, so they will be about a year and a half apart. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Sorry that was such a long post. Bon soir mon amies!

Crawfish Queen

2009-06-07T23:15:00.000-05:00

Love these pictures! Me, my roommates Julie and Sandra, and some new friends, Mimi and her husband Raul, Richard, Jack, and Kevin, all at these crawfish place in Austin last week. Most of us ordered the most popular item, 2 lbs of crawfish...and I totally ate mine the fastest! It was smothered in this great sauce and everybody loved it! It was the first time I had crawfish and I have to admit I really had to ignore the fact that it is a whole creature that I'm tearing apart...but after getting past that it was delicious! ;)

All Nations Picture!

2009-06-04T23:06:00.000-05:00

Except I'm not in it....I was talking with one of the teacher's about the Holy Spirit so I missed it. Oh well. Just wanted to share all the amazing people with you. This is truly the Kingdom of God!

A Day of Conversing

2009-06-03T22:29:00.000-05:00

So today was my first experience with Dessert and Coffee time which is something they do here for International student ministry every wednesday over lunch and into the afternoon. It was so great to just drink coffee at the ministry center with a handful of internationals and really have great conversation with them. It was natural, no pressure from either side, just really great. A couple of the girls are going to come tomorrow night to the women's cooking group I and some of my friends here are starting! Yeah! But today was definitely heavy with conversation. Kelly (the guy I'm interning with) and I talked a lot this morning regarding schedule, which stemmed from a convo with a mentor of mine last night. I realized that I am getting a taste of what it is like to really be focused on God and have Him rule my schedule and how it feels to not be so busy that we can't just enjoy Him and that if someone interrupts our schedule that we can't enjoy spending time with them or change our schedule to be with them because we are so busy. It is so amazing to just enjoy God and enjoy the people He has put in our lives. I realized that I don't want to be so busy that I miss the amazing things that God has for me and has put in my life. So me and Kelly were talking about that and then I got to spend some time later with an amazing woman of God who with her husband leads one of the life groups. And she said some awesome things and one of them that I wanted to share was going back to the bible story of Martha and Mary and a time when Jesus was eating at their home. Mary stayed at Jesus' feet listening to Him, spending time with Him, while Martha ran around trying to serve, clean up, basically be a good hostess. Because really, there was nothing wrong with what Martha was doing it was necessary tasks, but what this woman was saying to me was that (not exactly how she worded it) you shouldn't be so focused and busy doing what's necessary that you miss doing and feel you don't have time to do what is really needed. That while Martha was busy worrying about what seemed necessary at the time, she didn't even have time to realize what was needed, aka just being with Jesus. I really liked that way of thinking as I grow more and more in Love with our Savior and realize more and more what it means to live for Him. Because nothing else matters. Not any of these worldly things. So just as a window into something that is going on in my heart is that I'm very much evaluating and asking God to give me wisdom and a clear vision into what my future needs to look like and more specifically what things I need to be doing now in preparation for that future. What He would have for me and what He knows I need, rather than what I feel like is necessary in my life.

Sleep is for the weak

2009-06-02T22:27:00.000-05:00

Ok, not really but sometimes I feel like that. I see so many people that strive to get everything done no matter how late they have to stay up or how early they have to wake up. I feel a lot like everyday I have an expectation for myself that is sort of unsaid, even when I take the time to write it down it is often unrealistic or some is left in my head and not written. At the end of the day I get frustrated because I didn't get it done and it just carries over to the next day, week after week. By the weekend I'm very bogged down by all these tasks and projects. A. I don't want to busy myself so much and miss out on what God would have for my life. B. If I have so much on my plate I can never get it done, that may be a hint that I'm doing too much? Ya think? :) C. I know for sure about myself that I cannot handle lack of sleep. Yes, sometimes one needs to stay up super late to finish something; there is nothing wrong with that. But I cannot think that just because it is not a natural strength of mine to do that, that there is something weak or wrong with me. Also, I have to think back to A and B because I shouldn't just be piling stuff on to make myself feel important or to just busy myself, and then feel bad when I don't get it done! In fact, I don't want to do anything in my own strength I want to do it with the strength that comes from our Lord and Savior and I want to be healthy and well rested to be attentive and willing to listen to what He has for me. That was a session of Liz thinking on paper, thanks for listening.

Jumping into the Book of Job

2009-06-01T23:25:00.000-05:00

So my quest to read the bible in a year has now brought me to the book of Job. Oh joy...well, I mean come on, not exactly most people's idea of a wonderful way to spend their afternoon, evening...or morning for that matter. I've heard people complain so much about Job and I have tried to read it once but it really is one of those books that is rather long winded like a J. R. R. Tolkien novel or something. Like, you feel the grass beneath your feet and describe the history of that particular patch of grass for the next whole chapter kind of book. Anyway, I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, as the reading schedule jumped from Abraham sacrificing and then not sacrificing Isaac, in the middle of Genesis, to reading the ENTIRE book of Job...but I am determined to get through it and actually get something from it this time and hopefully not fall asleep every time I sit down to read it, which happened today I'm not gonna lie.

So here are some thoughts on Job 1-8.
1. I didn't realize that Job's wife never dies, and that she at one point even tells Job he should curse God and die...not exactly an ideal marriage going on there...
2. Job's first friend to speak [Eliphaz] in Job 4:12-21 says a word was given to him from a spirit...is this an Angel? The Holy Spirit? I need to research this more.
3. All the action really takes place right in the beginning you know? Then it's basically 4 friends chilling together and arguing about how Job should react and move on from this tragedy. I really enjoy picturing this like a movie in my head because it's fun to imagine them arguing back and forth with Job who is a total mess.

Anyway, although I still fell asleep, I realized that there is a lot of good substance here, so you should read it! I'm trying to find a good commentary to go along with it, but not sure who is legit and who is just plain trippin. So if you have any advice on that please send it my way! Peace,
Liz

Ok...so I missed a day.

2009-05-30T18:35:00.001-05:00

Alright, so I didn't blog yesterday and I feel bad but not that bad. :)

So I started this reading the bible in a year thing and it's going pretty well. I started Monday and just finished genesis 22. I know I know, how in the world am I going to get through the bible in a year from Genesis to Revelation without getting incredibly bored and quitting or being confused or freaking out because the old testament is kind of hard to read? Well, I have this really cool guide I got at the All Nations conference that is the bible in a year...in chronological order. Very cool, because it really makes the bible make more sense contextually, for example when you are reading Acts, when Paul visits a city then leaves the city, instead of just finishing Acts and then going to the next book, it will stop you and have you read the letter Paul wrote to the city and then go back and continue through Acts. Make sense? I'm really excited about it because this is so my personality. I want everything in order! Which is not always good, but in this case it works. If anyone is like, WOW that sounds awesome I want a copy, just let me know. It is a worksheet that I got so I can type it up.

So I ate crawfish tonight for the first time...pretty epic. Hopefully I will have some pics up soon from that we got some really good ones. It has been great so far meeting so many new people. such a challenge for me because although I'm pretty extroverted it is still difficult to jump in and introduce myself and ask questions and get conversations started. I don't know why we get that way sometimes and just clam up and lose all confidence in ourselves. Sort of cliche, but "with God on our side, who could be against us?" Just reminds me that I'm not here to impress anyone. I'm here to spread the Gospel and shine His light in the darkness. Me being shy is just pointless and something I know God is going to continually work on in my life, which is so great! Even though you can't feel that when you are going through it, when God brings you out of it into a new season and into a new you, it is just so beautiful!

Ok, goodnight, must go to bed! Tomorrow morning is a women's bible study and then off to my first time at the church here that a lot of Chi Alpha people attend called Glad Tidings or just GT.
Talk to y'all later,
Liz

Finishing my Story of the All Nations conference and testimony of God's Power and Grace!

2009-05-29T00:01:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to quick write and finish up getting up to date. - This picture is from the conference, me on left with some awesome people I met!

So after driving 12 hours to Missouri beginning at 4:30am Thursday morning, we made it to Springfield to Central Bible College and began the All Nations Conference, which is a conference put on my Chi Alpha Christian Ministries for Christian International Students and leaders of Chi Alpha's International Student Friendship Ministry (ISFM). The basic outline of the conference was prayer in the morning (7am!), morning worship singing and a speaker, small group bible study, then an elective workshop, some free time, and then evening worship singing and speaker. We got to hear Scott Martin who is the Director of National Chi Alpha ISFM speak, as well as regular teaching from Paul York a prof at Central Bible College, and Paul Ai, a missionary and Director of all Assemblies of God Churches in Vietnam. The conference lasted Thurs night, Friday, Saturday (which was an excursion day to Branson), Sunday, and then Monday was the last day, and we drove home Tuesday.

I feel like the main thing I really want to share about this time was that God proved Himself faithful to me in a number of ways. First of all, I really got to experience some awesome conversations and relationship building with Christian International students and that meant a lot to me and encouraged me about going back to Denton and reaching students. Also, He answered so many prayers in that He really brought me out of a desert season in my life (see past post) and into a new season of life. Like stepping to a new stone in a path. I realized tonight as I was journaling that I really feel the JOY of His Salvation again and the weight of His promises and power in my life. I can't stress enough how much I had forgotten and didn't even really know how powerful our Lord God is and that He can do anything! How amazing is that? And that He does fufill His promises and that you know what? He LOVES me! Wow, that is AWESOME! :)

I guess some really cool things that happened in my heart is a total opening to what God has for me in my life because I know He is far better at controlling it and making plans for it than I am. Plus, I feel like I finally am excited and ready to let Him use me and work through me to minister to others and I really feel like I have a better understanding of what that means. I also am realizing that as we walk towards God, He RUNS towards us! He wants to draw us near to Him and I feel so much more like I actually want to draw near to Him. Through daily quiet time, meaning time I set aside to be by myself, reading the bible, praying, and meditating on His Word and Him, I will know Him better. A relationship only can grow by spending time together and investing time into one another, and this holds true to my relationship with God.

Also, PRAISE GOD, I feel so blessed to say that God totally used me to bring another sheep to His flock. The last night of the conference I felt really impressed upon to speak with this international student I had met and just started to ask her questions about her relationship with God. Basically it came down to her realizing how much she really wanted to say yes and let Jesus into her life. We prayed together and she excepted Jesus as her personal Savior and Lord! HOW COOL is GOD! This must be documented as the beginning of so many beautiful experiences of faith in Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. Love you all, ask me if you have questions about this way cool conference!

I have arrived

2009-05-27T14:41:00.001-05:00

*Me in front of a fountain on the UT campus with the stadium and clock tower in background. May 19th, 2009

The Beginning of Something Awe-some

2009-05-21T23:42:00.000-05:00

(Note: This was written over the course of a few days so some info is not exactly new as in from today, and some is. Just wanted to sort of catch up to the present.)

The word awesome is a word my sister and I discuss regularly. The stem, "awe" is a noun meaning (according to dictionary.com) "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like." It's one of those words that we use a lot, in fact probably overuse it. I know I do. And in regards to rather un-awesome things. Like pretty good sandwiches and ironic jokes, which are pretty cool, but not really "overwhelming" with a "feeling of reverence....produced by that which is extremely powerful." I don't know about you, but I don't want to place any weight or power in the glory of a sandwich or any entertainment. Frankly, there is someone else that deserves this exclamation, this praise, this description quite a bit more.

This is technically the seventh day (as in Monday May 25th) of my internship with the University of Texas at Austin's Chi Alpha International Student Friendship Ministry's Director, Kelly Brown. I say technically because it doesn't really feel like I've been doing an internship yet, because for the past five days we have been in Missouri at a Chi Alpha conference. To start at the beginning though as a first post in a series of new posts I promise to document here, I'll begin with the first two days experience and work my way with later posts to a full explanation of the "awe" thing in the previous paragraph, so you have to keep reading. (Muahahahahahahah!) :)

Well, to back it up a bit, but be brief, I decided to do the internship this summer (for six weeks) because I felt really called by God to do it. The past season for me was really dry and difficult. Hillsong has a song that I have been listening to for a long while now called "Dessert Song" that you can check out here talks about the fact that no matter what season you are in God is still God and His promises are still promised to you and me and we are victorious in His Son. (Now that's AWEsome!) The first verse goes like this "This is my prayer in the desert, when all that's within me feels dry. This is my pray in my hunger and need. My God is the God who provides." This past semester and year I have prayed that prayer a lot. God is faithful and at the beginning of April I went to a conference in Austin put on by Kelly Brown called Discover the Nations, basically a time to learn about international student ministry. During the time I was there, God totally rescued me from feeling like I was balancing a huge stack of boxes in my hands. He told me to just let go of them. I also felt like in the next couple of months I was going to learn which boxes to pick up again. Little did I know that not only that, I am going to learn how to let God help me balance those boxes. Yay for analogies! :)

At the conference Kelly asked me to come and intern with him and learn more about better leading international student ministry. I knew I needed to say yes even though it was going to slightly complicate my schedule this summer and I had to raise support to be able to do it. I knew it was where I needed to be. What is cool is that I was dead set on going to China a few months ago for the summer, but after saying, "Ok God, I'll do what you want me to do not what I want to do." I decided He didn't want me to go to china. The cool thing (perhaps AWEsome thing) is that He had this much better plan for me. AMEN!

Jump forward to May 18th.......
So it's Monday night, almost midnight, all my friends just left my house after coming and eating pasta and dessert with me, all except my roommate and my friend Ben who was going to take everything off my huge computer by brother gave me for graduation and put it onto the new/old laptop I just bought from a friend of mine (thanks Suzanne!). We can't seem to figure out how to do this however, plus I'm still packing up my stuff, plus I'm really tired because I just got done with 5 finals the Thursday before, plus the semester has totally worn me down, plus all weekend me and two other friends had to put our stuff into storage, and plus I've had a busy day doing last minute errands (also thanks Suzanne!!!). So now that the situation is set up....basically I didn't sleep at all that night...and my friends John and Ruth picked me up Tuesday morning at 4:30am to drive to Austin (they had to go all the way to San Antonio which is why the early morning). I slept in the car though. We made it to Austin at 8:30am where we met Kelly at his house. That day he showed me around campus (so HUGE!), I got to meet some UT-Austin Chi Alpha people as well as the Chi Alpha Director Scott, and then I went to the apartment I'll be staying at and met my new roommates Julie and Sandra, who then had a bunch of people over which was super fun.

Yes, cool things. Problem: I have been feeling so busy. I feel like I need a day to just get some stuff done and sit and relax. However, these past few days we have been in Missouri at an international student conference and it has been amazing and I'm definitely feeling a lot more energized and charged up, so I can't say that I still feel entirely that way, however that was how I was feeling all through finals weeks, that weekend as we put stuff in storage, and then Mon, Tues, and Wed, just because I had so much to do before coming to Austin and then after I got here a lot was happening.

well, now it is Tuesday May 26th and I arrived back "home" in Austin a few hours ago from the conference. Tomorrow I will get that day of rest and relaxation and some time to do some housekeeping stuff. I plan on wandering around H.E.B. to get familiar with the grocery store I will be shopping at regularly (I love grocery stores! :) and maybe cooking something nice. I'm going to blog about the conference tomorrow as well after a good night's sleep. I feel so blessed as I write this though and want to share how AWEsome God is and just encourage anyone writing this that He does answer our prayers and that He is so powerful and so much better at being in control of our lives than we are!

"Shout to the Lord all the earth, let us sing
Power and majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the works of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever, I'll stand.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You."

2009-03-15T00:00:00.001-05:00

Hi, it's been a while. I like to come back to things after a long time and fit right back into it, finding all those things you liked about it in the first place still there. Finding the purpose again. When I get out of the habit of having daily time with God, and get back into it, it is always hard, but sweet. When it's a relationship that has gotten lost, it takes time to find the rhythm again, but it's so worth finding. I'm so glad God excepts us back when we turn away, sometimes just for a few days. We get busy, we drop those quiet devotionals from our schedules because they seem dropable, probably a lack of accountability. But I see the change in me when I do them. I can't help but feel guilty when I don't, which is sort of silly. God doesn't ask us to do anything but love Him, right? It is easy to get caught up in feeling like we need to DO something to be saved and keep our salvation. I know this to not be true. If anyone knows a verse in response to these thoughts, please post it.

A few pics of my favorite people...a sort of photo journalism-type day

2009-02-02T09:30:00.000-06:00

Depth Perception

2009-01-30T23:55:00.001-06:00

It was freezing as I walked to work that morning and I pulled my jacket sleeves over my dry, cracked hands. I blinked in a frenzy, feeling the increased pressure of my newly purchased contacts behind my lids. The cold pressed on them too and I bent my neck against the breeze. The concrete went from smooth to pebbled and back to smooth as the campus swept past. I was breathing deep, concentrated on moving quickly to my office. But the contrast of my black tennis shoes against the gray sidewalk and the movement of my feet, almost a rhythm with the rustle of dead leaves and bushes, it began to grab a memory from somewhere in my mind. "I have big feet," is what I was really thinking as the sun found some spaces in the fog. The memory floated in a bit more. I thought about my shoes and how it always seemed like shoes looked better on small feet. I looked again. An image of DVDs in a small store back in Minnesota popped into my head. I blinked twice. Again, holding my eyes closed for a second. No, my feet can't be that big. "Darn these contacts!" I thought, as I recalled the warnings of my friend Maggie as we walked around ShopKo in Marshall, MN, me in my trial pair of contacts, her in glasses. "Everything looks different!" She explained in her broken English. "What do you mean, different?" I asked my Chinese friend. "Bigger." She said. The DVDs looked totally wrong as we tried to scope out the right one for Dad for Christmas. Huge! "What a waste of plastic!" was my thought as we roamed the isles. "Why would ShopKo decide to have different sized DVD cases than Wal-Mart?" She just laughed as I asked if the movies looked bigger to her and shook her head. "My shoes are normal size." I told myself a few times. And this is where the lightening bolt came. So if a little piece of plastic covering my eyes can make me see something different than I know to be true, how many things out there are making me to believe God is something different than I know and the bible tells me is true. The promises of God still hold true today. The sacrifice of Christ is still covering us today. God's character doesn't change. As I pray, lately I've had a hard time believing in these promises; feeling like I'm not doing enough, or doing it right. But make no mistake: the God that made the sun peak through the fog this morning to shine a beam on my rosy cheek, that God is still here, is still with us, is still relevant, and will never change. However, when I don't stay faithful to reading and studying the Word of God, it is even easier to become blinded, confused, or doubtful, usually without even realizing it. And through those little confusions, even less noticeable than the change in the DVDs and my shoes, Satan grabs a hold of us. My best friend once told me that even when we feel the furthest away from God and we read His Word and feel like we are getting nothing out of it, the Word is acting like an X-ray. We can't see the effect, we can't feel the effect, but it is penetrating us none the less and is leaving a lasting imprint. So God, even though I read sometimes and just don't really get any sort of deeper meaning from it, I am going to try to not stop. I want to know your character and let it leave it's imprint on my heart. "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage. And He shall Strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" -Psalm 27:14

Re-relevant Prayers; God grant me a foundation.

2008-11-09T22:00:00.000-06:00

Lord, I just thank you that you stir in my heart the want to be better and make changes in my life. When I feel like I'm drowning, God I pray that you would be there comforting me. God, I know I can't do it myself. I have no foundation at all without you. How unstable I become. I just have to trust you; that you will fulfill your unmoving covenant with our souls. I have to trust that you know what you are doing. That it is just a time, not forever. You are the only thing that is forever. Thank you for giving us this time to be here and learn crazy things, see beauty, and be filled up with anticipation. Anticipation for something so great it is so beyond us. Lord, please let me only worship you for the rest of my days. Though I may walk through the dark and fall, stumbling along, that I would never worship false idols. Whatever they may be. How can I worship you better? How can I serve you better? I know you want to take care of me too, so please let me be excepting of that. I love you.

Oh our Father, how you lift up your people to do your will.
How your glory is shown in the works of our hands.
And the words of our mouths.
How is it that we fall, time and time again, yet you lift us up on your back and carry us to the finish!
For we must run the race, oh Lord.
But it would be false to say we must do it on our own accord.
Like a child clings to it's mother and father, Father God, may we cling to you.
Like a servant looks to the instruction of his master, Master God, may we look to you.
And we must run the race, oh Lord, but it is not required to know how the track will feel beneath the pounding of our feet, or the direction it is taking us.
Oh our Father, when we lose our purpose that is found in you, be merciful oh God. Let us not stand still or run backwards, but take us to the end.

We'll pray for unity, we'll guard each one's diginity, and we'll spread the Good News because God IS in our land...by our love, by our love

2008-10-02T11:26:00.000-05:00

Pic title:
Learning to love many different kinds of people is crazy and I like it.

Do you ever get to the point where you feel like you have been hanging on the edge of a cliff for a very long time and frankly, you just want to let go and not feel so tense anymore? I do.

But somehow, God has made this crazy, radical, change in my life regarding just this.

Somehow, beyond all the busyness, the too much stuff to do life, I know there is something better. And I also know the purpose of being here. It’s really not as magical as we always thought it would be, you know, the whole “What’s the secret of life” idea. Why are we here? It doesn’t really make sense does it? No matter what way I think it through, I just can’t figure out why God decided to create us in the first place. But I’ve got to think beyond that. I’m not God and I don’t know those things. I think He reveals things like that to people. I mean, think about how much He revealed about this Earth’s future in Revelations! He may just not reveal it in the way you would think.

Anyway, so God has revealed purpose in this life to me: What is more important than the love you share with the lost, the broken, and also the saved? Just as God loved us, so I shall love them. No matter who the person is or how much we can’t stand them. We must love them and the epitome of love is not just saying, “Ok, so I really love this person, BUT…”

It’s funny though. I just finally came to this understanding this past year. My heart was finally ready I guess. And now I’m here with these thoughts:

1. Seriously, it’s hard to love when you just stayed up all night working on a paper and you want to keel over and your face will just not manipulate itself into a smile. It’s hard.

2. What’s up with Christians and loving other Christians? I had a talk with one of my homegirls about this the other day. Aren’t they supposed to know we are Christians by our love (by our love) and as I become more and more familiar with the bible I see how Christians acted towards each other. Shouldn’t the shear fact that we are Christian bring us together? Why are we so divided? What is that saying…A house divided against itself cannot stand. Hmmmm…I have this picture in my head of myself walking down a road (which has manifested itself as one of the streets by my sister’s house) and seeing a woman with a cross necklace on and embracing her. I don’t know her, maybe I never will. But we are family because of Christ. And we are fighting the same fight.

And I can’t help think that someday God is going to place in my heart the ability to do these things. I know He will because He always follows through. So even in this time of my life when I actually did stay up all night to write a paper that ended up being too long and hopefully I don’t get points taken off for that, and when I had some really crappy tests last week and this week, I can still say that. God is good all the time, even when we feel pretty sucky.

So the cliff analogy: It’s not that God has shown me that it’s ok to let go, it’s that He has put in me the knowledge of new branches to hold on to and the footholds to climb over the edge, and purpose, because without that, you might as well just let go. Thank you Lord for that.

Influenciation

2008-09-06T22:05:00.000-05:00

Influenciation: the process of learning what we want to influence us and how we want to let it influence us. It is valuable to note that most experts have asserted that we are influenced by stimuli without consciously knowing it. Also see: Divine influenciation, which concerns a similar process of growing attune to what God wants us to learn and being influenced by Him.

Ok, so I totally made that up, if you couldn't tell. However, it really sums up this season in my life and I just wanted to try to define it for myself and the reader of this "blog." I have never in my life been so aware of the growth that is taking place and needs to take place with in me. I was told the other day by my dear cousin that Sophomore year of college is supposed to be the most difficult year of your journey through Academia. Well, I don't know if this is true for everyone, or for what specific reason it may be true for me, but I can venture to say that it may involve these few factors-
1. I have only been living "independently" from my parental units for a little over than a year now and as the time progresses I am faced with dealing with a variety of things that previously they worried about.
2. I was saved by God's living, breathing, grace just last summer and now I am here trying to sort through all the implications of being a woman of faith that are so contradictory to my life before that point.
3. I'm supposed to be a woman. Ok, so not that I'm apposed to being a woman, don't get me wrong I'm definitely not a feminist, I'm sooo for being feminine, but the idea of being a grown up, a woman not just a girl, well, it's not easy to figure out what that really means.
4. Going along with growing up, I'm figuring out what is important to me, what I want to do for the rest of my life, what people are really pivital and important in my life, how to have meaningful relationships with people, and how to teach and be taught.

As I write this however, I am once again reminded of the passage that helps to title this blog.

"...because by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy." - Hebrews 10:14

No matter how discouraged I can become, I must remember that this is a PROCESS. God is making me holy, in HIS time, but through Christ I have been saved. What a strange thing to work through. I once heard it said this way, "He has sanctified forever, those who are BEING sanctified."

Perhaps the hardest part is that although it is a process, only God knows each step.